


My constant

by httpspotter



Category: The X-Files RPF
Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 14:51:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13860039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpspotter/pseuds/httpspotter
Summary: A glance of their relationship during the years. At least, how I think/would like to be. It goes since the 90s until nowadays.





	My constant

**Author's Note:**

> My gillovny trash is killing me these days, so i end up writing this when I was waiting at the supermarket (yes, I can't stop thinking about them and sculder, never)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**“There’s this young guy… earlier in the 90’s he used to be really cute”**

 

After a long day promoting the fourth season of the x files, Gillian Anderson took a cab to the hotel she was hosted. She was tired after the whole interview and smiling to cameras thing; with that tight dress and high heels. The migraine was saying “hello”, too, and she just needed some rest. It was true there wasn’t any plane to Vancouver waiting for her in the morning. She was, in fact, at vacation. In one day, maybe two, she would take a fly back home to see Piper and Clyde.

But, right now, all she could think about was how David was flirty the entire time. He kept touching her whenever he mentioned her name when answering a question. Making her laugh, which he was capable of even when she was mad at him. And she was. Mad, hurt, confused. Gillian was married now, for god's sake. Of course this never changed the way they behave in front and off the cameras, but whenever David was the one dating someone, things could get uncomfortable.

He would finish the scenes and run away to talk to the girl on the phone, to hook up with her in the hallway if she was on the cast. The playing around and "let's have a coffee and chill, Gillian?" wouldn't happen. On the other hand, David used to get really pissed if she was the one to ditch him because of her husband. And now, they were alone, walking around, giving interviews and he back to be the normal charming don juan. Of course, she let him. They should pretend everything was okay, and to David, they were. He even tried to take her out to a drink at the end of the day. But there wasn't anyone around anymore, so she just stopped with the fake smiled and said, with a very obvious anger in her voice, no, thank you very much, David.

She didn't expect him to appear at her doorstep asking what's wrong; he had his new girlfriend now, but he did showed up. With a white t-shirt and a black-leather jacket, puppy eyes, looking confused and lost.

"Hi..." he said when Gillian opened the door. "I love Simba" he pointed to her Lion King pyjamas.

She sighed. "What are you doing here, David?"

"I- I just came by to see how you're doing. I know you wanna to rest, but you seemed pretty upset earlier"

"I'm just tired. And I really want to rest. So, if you don't mind..."

She was about to close the door on his face but he hold it. "Gillian... Come on, you're mad at me. I want to know why"

"I'm not. I told you, I'm-"

"Tired. Of the work? Or me?"

"You're think too much of yourself" she entered the room, letting him follow her. "Not everything is about you, David"

He came close, really, really close. She could feel his breath while he spoke the next words. "Is this because I ask you out? I just though you could use a drink after all that talking"

"And after you flirting with me?" she asked. "Yeah, I needed. But alone, certainly not with the guy who's giving me headache"

He gave a confused laugh. "What? I always flirt with you. That's just how our platonic thing is, since ever. Why is suddenly the motive of your migraine?"

"You are friendly and flirty. When there's no one around"

"What are you talking about? We shoot together, we're co-workers. There's always someone around"

"I meant when you're blonde girlfriend or any other one you current fucking isn't"

He frowned his eyebrows. "Sure. 'Cause they're my girlfriends. You're just the same when that husband of yours is visiting"

"No, I'm not. I still talk to you. Damn it, David. I still kiss you at the awards, in from of everyone, even when I'm with a date"

"I don't understand where you're going with this"

She started say something but stopped herself even before the words could come out. Gillian knew her voice would crack if she started saying everything was on her mind, so she just pushed him away. "Can you go? I won't be mad anymore. Never gonna mention any of it, and let you fuck whoever you want. Just... let me get some rest"

"Is that what this is about? You're... jealous?"

"Why would I be? You're both committed"

"Yes"

"Then there's no reason why you would flirt with me when we're "alone" and not even talk to me properly when we're not"

"Gill-"

"And there would be no absolutely reason for you to be piss whenever my husband comes to pick me up at work. Or suggest kissing scenes that are not on script - just for fun"

"Oh, come on. I did hit on you. Many times. We even were close to something. Then, the next thing I new you're engaged"

"David-"

"No, now you're listening" his voice was filled with resentment. "I wanted you since the very first day I saw you in that room. But apart from the flirting, you never let nothing happens. Never gave a single sign you were interested too"

"Didn't it?" she was even angrier now. And the crack on her voice was inevitable, so as the tears on her eyes. "What about the times I show up at your place? And we stayed up all night drinking wine and taking?"

"I don't know. We're close. Friends do this sort of things"

"I slept in your bed, right by your side. We used to cuddle all the time. And you, the don juan, never tried anything. I was confused"

David hesitated. "I didn't know. I guess I was blind because it was you. I'm sorry"

She looked away, not wanting him to see her tears. But it was already too late. David dried out her tears, holding her face in his hands. The way he was looking at her, Gillian couldn't handle, so she just step away.

"Please... I can't do this"

He nodded. "I should go"

"Yeah"

"Gillian?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry it's too late for us"

She didn't answer. She didn't have to. Her eyes were telling him she was sorry, too. Clyde was a good guy, and he gave her Piper, the best gift she could ever ask for. But he wasn't David. Maybe that was why she went after him.

He was in the end of the hallway. "David!"

Duchovny looked back at her in the same second. "I... Maybe you can stay tonight?" she asked when they were standing face to face.

"I don't want make things harder for you, Gillian"

"It will be harder if you leave" she tried to smile. "Talking and wine? Just like we used to?"

"Nothing else?"

"David..."

"I can't be this close without being able to touch you. If I stay... We'll do everything but talking"

She licked her lips. "Then stay"

 

...

 

They promised to each other nothing would happen after the x files was ended. Gillian and David were now friends. All the drama, jealousy, love and hate... all the complications in their relationship were gone in the very moment they decided to stop sleeping together.

Of course, they weren't happy either. But things got too complicated, and besides everything, all the chemistry and feeling they had for one another, wasn't worth risking everything. And that's not their marriages. Gillian was with her second husband now. David and Tea were fighting all the time because his addiction. However, they didn't work. Not even in secret, let alone if they came public. It would destroy the friendship they had left, and they both wouldn't let that happen.

They kept contact. Exchanging e-mails. Letters. Always flirting. Always saying sweets things, full of promises like they would be together someday. That's why it was so hard for them to see each other face to face. So they didn't. The secret sex and encounters became words on a notebook screen. And it was enough. At least, that's what they told themselves.

Until the revival. Chris Carter came with this brilliant and sick idea of doing a second movie. Of course, they couldn't say no. They loved the show. Mulder and Scully were a big part of their lives, maybe the most important and remarkable thing in their careers. And, most of all, they loved and missed each other like hell.

This time was easier. In the beginning, at least. They were older, their friendship was solid and all the drama was left behind in the 90s. After the shooting, they would go to an apartment David bought. He would cook for her, while she was kissing him from behind, making things difficult to be finish. They would eat on the floor, then cuddle on the couch. Make love in from of the fireplace in the leaving room, in the shower, in the bed.

Then the weekends came. David had to go home. To Tea. And even if Gillian was sad about it. She had her childrens and family, too. So, things were okay. For a while.

The shooting ended. And they were back at the same place they had never really left. David couldn't get divorce. Not now, he said. Just wait. How long? I don't know. I can't say. We should make it public. People will talk. Let them. If you can't make this real, David, then I'm leaving.

And she left. With a broken heart and decided not to try anything ever again. But the season 10 came out. And season 11. Everything seemed to be pulling them together.

Now, there wasn't nothing happening. They were just friends. David got divorced and got some girlfriends over the years. Gillian got a boyfriend (and flirted with some girls). They hated see the other with someone else, but it was easier now. Their friendship was stronger than ever. And even though they behave like an old married couple all the time, that was it. Not even on the show they were kissing. No, not even "just for fun".

It seemed right, for the first time. Maybe the problem was the sexual tension. The urge of kiss and touch each other. In the 90s, they couldn't stop themselves. It was too... intense. At the revival, the same, although more domestic. Now, they would cuddle, but just kissing. Soft and short kisses. Nothing else. It felt good.

Until... it wasn't enough.

It was after this interview. They were touching each other, suggesting things. Everyone noticed and they didn't care at all. David drove her at the hotel, but he couldn't left. He stayed looking at the entrance for what it felt like ages, until he went, shyly, knock at her door.

"David" she was surprised. "Oh, you forgot your coat with me, didn't you? I will pick up for you"

He would stop her, but Gillian was already going to get it for him. David entered the room, looking around, smelling her perfume all over the place. It was the same one she used to wear, since ever. And it had always been his favourite.

"You okay?" Gillian asked, letting the coat on the couch, going to check on him, touching his arm. "David?"

"I love you" he said, summoning all the words that were on his mind.

"And I love you. But what's wrong?"

He sighed. "Not like that, Gillian. It's never just friendship between us"

"Oh, David..." she looked away, covering her face. "Don't do that. We're good. Better than we've ever been. And the only reason is that we're just friends. So, no, you're wrong this time. That's the only way it work for us"

"But it isn't!" David hold her arms. "Don't you see? I'm happy. And you too. I know. But we could be so much more"

"We tried! A thousand times. Why do you think this time will be different?"

"We're both single"

She laughed. "We were always single to each other. Never stopped us. It's the same"

"We can make it public"

"That's not the only reason why I left the last time"

"Then..."

"We're toxic. When we're fucking, things get complicated. It's intense in a level I can handle. None of us can. We hurt each other. Always"

He held her face in his hands. "We are. Complicated, yes. Not toxic. Or you wouldn't make me feel the way I do. Gillian, my favorite enjoy in life is to make you laugh, because I love when you do. It makes me smile. I could destroy the whole world to see that look on your face. I would never do something to make you cry. Not on purpose"

"It will be hard. Harder than everything we have ever tried"

"I know"

"Do you really?"

"And I don't care. I don't care how many times we will slipt up. I don't care about the fights and the pain. If I can hold you in my arms and kiss you goodnight, then it will be worth"

Gillian couldn't lie to herself anymore. She missed him, too. They were both kidding themselves, going around, prettending it was enough to be just friends. Every time he held her, all she wanted to do was let him kiss her, take her in his arms and never let her leave.

Yes, maybe it wouldn't work this time again. They were too stubborn, and that was always one of biggest problems. But if there was one thing they could both agree, it was, like Mulder and Scully, they were each other constants. They seemed to always find a way back to each other. If all people were just lost ashes from the stars, then maybe they belong to same one before the explosion that created the universe. That was the only certain they would ever had. And, maybe now, this one time, it would be enough. And even if it wasn't, well, there wasn't really nothing they could about it. You don't argue with the universe, do you?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
